SYTYCD Canada gettin’ Lazy

August 19, 2010

WHAT THE HELL, So You Think You Can Dance Canada?! Why the hell did you cut LazyLegz!

I first saw him on a We are All Able commercial and wondered exactly how he danced so when he showed up on SYTYCDCan I knew exactly who it was.

I was amazed that they cut him. It sucks, I’m disappointed.

I want to see a dance off between LazyLegz and Chibi Robot.


The Injustice of April Fools

April 2, 2010

There’s something that my mind constantly returns to every few months even when it’s not seasonally appropriate, which should give you an idea of how much it really affects me.

I’ve always wanted to fake my death on April Fool’s day. Get a friend to say “Today, Stitchedbitch died of health complications.” and so forth. But I can’t because occasionally I am very close to death (though the last time I was in such peril was about 3 years ago.) and it just wouldn’t be fair to my friends. Though I think it’s fucking funny.

It would shoot my credibilty to shit. I hate when people use their health for pity, something so simple to do online. For all you know I might be a healthy, white, middle aged single father of two. The outpouring of people’s affection and griefe would be interesting to see. (Even if I am a supreme bitch, everyone is nice to The Recently Departed.) But to do so smacks of ego-boosting and narcissism. It’s worse than planning your own funeral, something I believe everyone has done at one point. Who in such situations would toy with sympathies of people like that? And why?

Because it’s fucking funny! Us cripples have to get our jollies somehow. You all laugh at us, which means we can all laugh at you in return. Fair is fair.

Unfortunately my common decency won’t allow me to it. It just wouldn’t be fair. And if I did do it, people would rage, because it’s a terrible thing to do and when I did die, I run the risk of no one taking it seriously.

I suppose the best I can hope for is to actually die on April Fools day.

A Little Late but Fuck Amanda Palmer

March 13, 2010

Fuck You Amanda Palmer.
Fuck this. And This. And This. And All this shit.

Cambodia squelches disabled beauty pagent.

August 3, 2009

It’s time once again to load up the Short Bus.

Cambodia cancels landmine pageant

A beauty pageant for landmine victims has been cancelled by the Cambodian government, which branded it an insult to disabled people.
Authorities said the contest, due to launch on Friday, would damage “the dignity and honour” of participants.

First of all, we cripples have our dignity and our honour with or without your little show. Second, what exactly is honourable about stepping on a land mine and losing chunks of your body. There’s a difference between dignity and honour and ‘authorities’ are missing the point here, sugars.

Twenty women were to have competed for the title of Miss Landmine and the prize of a high-tech prosthetic limb.

Ok, I’ll say it. It sounds to me that they just don’t want to have to foot the bill (har har) for the limb.

Mr Traavik – who launched the first Miss Landmine pageant in Angola two years ago – said his contest was intended to raise awareness about the issue and empower those whose lives had been affected by the explosive devices.

I certainly think it sound empowering. I think it’s a great way to show young girls that they can still be beautiful even through their scars and misfortune.

But government spokesman Khieu Khanarith said the competition would “make a mockery of Cambodia’s landmine victims”.

Everyone in the contest were consenting adults. Maybe displaying it in the Capitol is a bit out of line for the government, but it’s not like the images are going to be plastered on billboards. It seems that people who would want to see the exhibit of the images have to physically go there and see them. It’s not like they’re randomly going to trip over the pictures as easily as, oh, say, a fucking landmine!

Ambercrombie & Fuck you!

June 16, 2009

Girl with prosthetic arm to work in store room of A&F because she didn’t have ‘the look’.

Ok, so they already knew she had a prosthetic arm from the beginning, and she covered it up but hey, that’s not good enough for them!

So she’s suing. Good for her! I support this plan!

Oh, and I would just like to say that I could never work at A&F. Why because:
“staff must represent a ‘natural, classic American style’ and instructs them on everything from how to wear their hair (clean and natural) to how long they should wear their nails (a quarter of an inch past the end of the finger).”” and I bite my nails.

Dear world

May 28, 2009

Dear world,
Don’t fucking come to my door with home retail flyers while I’m coming out of the shower and changing gross medical paraphernalia. Especially when I’m expecting 2 packages in the mail.

Fuck you,

Blog Against Disabilism Day and my personal agony

May 1, 2009

Ok, so It’s apparently Blog Against Disablism Day, so I felt I should say something. The problem is, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.

I guess I’m supposed to go on and on about how I’m ‘normal’ and how my disability isn’t really a disability and that I’m such a trooper.
But I’m not normal, it is a disability and I have to be a trooper because the only other choice is to lay down and die.

I’m sure there’s a lot of other posts about a lot of other accounts of discrimination against disabled people floating around today so I think I’ll just tackle a minor annoyance.

Spring is in the air and my stump is getting fuckloads of blisters from the socket, which is an improper fit. Want to know why it’s not a proper fit? I’ll tell you what my leg doctor told me.

“You’re at the age where your skin isn’t staying where it should.”

I had never felt older. Not even when I found my first gray hair at 17. I’m not even 30 yet!

I walk a lot because I can walk. I spent a good chunk of the last two years unable to walk and now I can. So I do.

Anyway, I feel that spring and summer are discriminate against my comfort. Fuck you, seasons! Quit fucking up my stump!

And while we’re on the subject of disability descrimination, I’ve found that because I can walk, other disabled people make me feel ‘less disabled’, like missing a limb isn’t a disability because they are in a wheelchair and can never walk again. Hey, I can’t feel my leg either!

You know what? Since I can walk, and I am going clubbing tomorrow, maybe I’ll even dance.

Fuck Disablism. No one can do everything.