SYTYCD Canada gettin’ Lazy

WHAT THE HELL, So You Think You Can Dance Canada?! Why the hell did you cut LazyLegz!

I first saw him on a We are All Able commercial and wondered exactly how he danced so when he showed up on SYTYCDCan I knew exactly who it was.

I was amazed that they cut him. It sucks, I’m disappointed.

I want to see a dance off between LazyLegz and Chibi Robot.

The Injustice of April Fools

There’s something that my mind constantly returns to every few months even when it’s not seasonally appropriate, which should give you an idea of how much it really affects me.

I’ve always wanted to fake my death on April Fool’s day. Get a friend to say “Today, Stitchedbitch died of health complications.” and so forth. But I can’t because occasionally I am very close to death (though the last time I was in such peril was about 3 years ago.) and it just wouldn’t be fair to my friends. Though I think it’s fucking funny.

It would shoot my credibilty to shit. I hate when people use their health for pity, something so simple to do online. For all you know I might be a healthy, white, middle aged single father of two. The outpouring of people’s affection and griefe would be interesting to see. (Even if I am a supreme bitch, everyone is nice to The Recently Departed.) But to do so smacks of ego-boosting and narcissism. It’s worse than planning your own funeral, something I believe everyone has done at one point. Who in such situations would toy with sympathies of people like that? And why?

Because it’s fucking funny! Us cripples have to get our jollies somehow. You all laugh at us, which means we can all laugh at you in return. Fair is fair.

Unfortunately my common decency won’t allow me to it. It just wouldn’t be fair. And if I did do it, people would rage, because it’s a terrible thing to do and when I did die, I run the risk of no one taking it seriously.

I suppose the best I can hope for is to actually die on April Fools day.

A Little Late but Fuck Amanda Palmer

Fuck You Amanda Palmer.
Fuck this. And This. And This. And All this shit.

Cambodia squelches disabled beauty pagent.

It’s time once again to load up the Short Bus.

Cambodia cancels landmine pageant

A beauty pageant for landmine victims has been cancelled by the Cambodian government, which branded it an insult to disabled people.
Authorities said the contest, due to launch on Friday, would damage “the dignity and honour” of participants.

First of all, we cripples have our dignity and our honour with or without your little show. Second, what exactly is honourable about stepping on a land mine and losing chunks of your body. There’s a difference between dignity and honour and ‘authorities’ are missing the point here, sugars.

Twenty women were to have competed for the title of Miss Landmine and the prize of a high-tech prosthetic limb.

Ok, I’ll say it. It sounds to me that they just don’t want to have to foot the bill (har har) for the limb.

Mr Traavik – who launched the first Miss Landmine pageant in Angola two years ago – said his contest was intended to raise awareness about the issue and empower those whose lives had been affected by the explosive devices.

I certainly think it sound empowering. I think it’s a great way to show young girls that they can still be beautiful even through their scars and misfortune.

But government spokesman Khieu Khanarith said the competition would “make a mockery of Cambodia’s landmine victims”.

Everyone in the contest were consenting adults. Maybe displaying it in the Capitol is a bit out of line for the government, but it’s not like the images are going to be plastered on billboards. It seems that people who would want to see the exhibit of the images have to physically go there and see them. It’s not like they’re randomly going to trip over the pictures as easily as, oh, say, a fucking landmine!

Ambercrombie & Fuck you!

Girl with prosthetic arm to work in store room of A&F because she didn’t have ‘the look’.

Ok, so they already knew she had a prosthetic arm from the beginning, and she covered it up but hey, that’s not good enough for them!

So she’s suing. Good for her! I support this plan!

Oh, and I would just like to say that I could never work at A&F. Why because:
“staff must represent a ‘natural, classic American style’ and instructs them on everything from how to wear their hair (clean and natural) to how long they should wear their nails (a quarter of an inch past the end of the finger).”” and I bite my nails.

Dear world

Dear world,
Don’t fucking come to my door with home retail flyers while I’m coming out of the shower and changing gross medical paraphernalia. Especially when I’m expecting 2 packages in the mail.

Fuck you,
Stitchedbitch

Blog Against Disabilism Day and my personal agony

Ok, so It’s apparently Blog Against Disablism Day, so I felt I should say something. The problem is, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.

I guess I’m supposed to go on and on about how I’m ‘normal’ and how my disability isn’t really a disability and that I’m such a trooper.
But I’m not normal, it is a disability and I have to be a trooper because the only other choice is to lay down and die.

I’m sure there’s a lot of other posts about a lot of other accounts of discrimination against disabled people floating around today so I think I’ll just tackle a minor annoyance.

Spring is in the air and my stump is getting fuckloads of blisters from the socket, which is an improper fit. Want to know why it’s not a proper fit? I’ll tell you what my leg doctor told me.

“You’re at the age where your skin isn’t staying where it should.”

I had never felt older. Not even when I found my first gray hair at 17. I’m not even 30 yet!

I walk a lot because I can walk. I spent a good chunk of the last two years unable to walk and now I can. So I do.

Anyway, I feel that spring and summer are discriminate against my comfort. Fuck you, seasons! Quit fucking up my stump!

And while we’re on the subject of disability descrimination, I’ve found that because I can walk, other disabled people make me feel ‘less disabled’, like missing a limb isn’t a disability because they are in a wheelchair and can never walk again. Hey, I can’t feel my leg either!

You know what? Since I can walk, and I am going clubbing tomorrow, maybe I’ll even dance.

Fuck Disablism. No one can do everything.

Amazon.fail Cripples a cripple’s mojo

Yeah, yeah, #Amazonfail, stripping GLBTQ books of their ranking, making it very hard for people to find books about those issues and topics. It’s bad. I know. We all know.

But did you also know that they’re de-ranking books on disability as well?

Well, now you do.

Here’s some more links.
Textual Fury.
ReunifyGally

New Gimpy Layout

Notice the new header image? Good for you, you have perception skills.
You might be wondering “Why Jimmy from South Park?”. After all, I’m a female, and Jimmy is a male. The reason I chose him is because I think it would be wonderful if we could all be more like Jimmy. He’s down to Earth, a good spirit, self-realistic and nobody cushions him. He has a dream -to be a comedian, to make people laugh- and won’t let his situation keep that from him. Never mind that he kicks cripple ass.
Also, he’s the only cripple in South Park to get laid before the age of 40. Presumably Ned raped girls in Vietnam, thus losing his virginity and his arm.

That’s why I chose Jimmy. Be more like Jimmy.

When a Gimp’s gotta go, a Gimp’s gotta go!

So I went to a movie the other night and was on my way to the washroom, because I figured it would be good to go before the film started.

The woman’s washroom is basically half way down the hall where all the theaters are, while the men’s is right by the guy who rips your ticket. And then the disabled stall is at the very end of the bathroom. That’s irritating, but it’s just the way it is.

So, I go to close the door and it won’t close. I open it, blink, close it, it won’t close. Open. Blink. Try again.

I look at it a third time and realize that the lock has been installed backwards! How the fuck do you fuck that up? It’s a recent development too, because I was just at that theater not too long ago!

But of course, it’s no big deal because hey- you’re not disabled, now are you? In fact, there are approximately 500 million disabled people world-wide. If my math is correct (Which it very well could not be.) that’s about %12 of Earth’s population. You know what else has a small percentage? IE6 users. Yep.

So does that mean WordPress shouldn’t have to make this blog compatible with IE6? How about Chrome, which only has less than %4 of all users? After all, I use Firefox, I don’t need to be able to see this site in IE or Chrome. It doesn’t affect me so why should I care about your needs?